The Marvelous World of Computers

I’m at that age now where I fondly remember, you came home when the street lights come on, you had to sit down and shut up, you played outside all day with toys you made or just some sticks found lying on the ground. Our pants never fell down because we had pants that fit and if we didn’t have pants that fit we sure as heck had a belt holding them up, even if that belt might have been just an old piece of clothes line tied around our waist. There was innocence in my young world, real or imaginable, it was there, I can still remember. I’m trying to pass some of that innocence on to my loved ones but they have no idea what the heck I’m talking about, and besides they have to go in their bedrooms now, the new video games they ordered with my credit card on their laptop arrived in the mailbox today. The real mailbox, the one outside by the road, not the inbox in here the mailbox out there, the inbox in here has the bill for the video games that I pay for by clicking here or is it over there.

Today it’s cell phones, computers, smart phones, tablets, computers in the phones, it’s all so marvelous: Or is it: let’s say you’re looking for a job and you need that job because you’re broke and of course you can’t afford a computer, but jobs are listed on the computer, the applications need to be filled out on-line with your resume as an attachment. I know what you’re thinking, why doesn’t this person just drive over to the library and use the computer. Because he doesn’t have a car!  Now can we please keep this moving right along?  Ahhh I see a job notice on the door of this convenience store, “Have A Career, Not Just A Job”, apply at our website http://www.darndarndarn.

Let’s say you have to make a phone call, any phone call to any company it doesn’t matter. Since it’s not fashionable to use real people anymore machines will do just fine. Press this or that, listen carefully since our menu options have changed. And remember you can do everything and anything more efficiently by going to our website at http://www.why can’t I get a real person dot com.

Business no longer means keeping yourself and your car nice and clean so that when you drive up to that very important meeting you make a pleasant first impression. Not anymore, now we have customers, employers and employees that have online meetings, the person on the other end is naked except for that shirt and tie you see on your computer screen. We keep what’s called an on-line presence, blogging, updating websites, putting our profiles on so many social media and marketing sites that there isn’t any way to remember them all, so now it’s time to create a nice excel worksheet and input all the information, this way we can track all that activity. Hey maybe I’ll make some nice colored graphs at the end of the year, I really like those colored graphs. And whatever you do, don’t forget the email address you used to sign up for that site in the first place. Please bring me back to the days when I carried a membership card in my wallet. Yep you said it faster than I could type it here on my keyboard, “You Don’t need a membership Card anymore” all you need my friend is a username and password. Oh no, not another password, what the heck was that password anyway, what email did I use when I signed up for this site, did I use uppercase with or without numbers, could it be my long lost dog’s middle name? Where the heck was I, this instant messaging chat thing- a-ma-jig has me distracted, OH NO, I’m lost somewhere in digital, blue-tooth, gigabyte, cyber space hell.

I dropped my young nephew off at Boy Scouts last week and my last words were not, Have a good time, I Love You; my last words were “DO YOU HAVE YOUR CELL PHONE?”

Marvelous just Marvelous.


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